The Accounts of a Demon Bard
by AlteFritz
Summary: Some people are infatuated before moving on. Some immediately fall in love. Others are like Guiliastes, where it's a slow road to the heart.


When I heard about an RPG with ninety-nine percent realism, I was unsure whether to get it or not. However, after taking some time as my character, I knew Second Life would be interesting. There were things that Guiliastes could do that Min Gui Wen would never dare to do. While I did do some things that were different, this thought never struck me as hard and fast as it did when I met Prince.

Seeing a man look at me in the way that women did was strange. The elf wasn't admiring me like everyone else; he was gazing at me with a smitten expression. Is he a homosexual? This amused me so much that I couldn't help but want to tease him. I acted like he was a princess and said how much more preferable men were. Then I died.

In the beginning, I joined Prince just for laughs. He was under the assumption that _I _was the gay one. That, and he thought I wanted to steal his virtue. If he thought that, why should I prove otherwise? It was funny watching Prince recoil whenever I was ridiculous with him. And for some odd reason, I didn't mind getting beat up by him afterward.

—

Over the past weeks, a phenomenon occurred.

Whenever I wasn't focused on work, my thoughts drifted to Prince. Was he as violent in real life as in Second Life? As charming? What did he look like? Where did he live? Did he think about Odd Squad? Did he ever think about m-no, let's not go that way.

What used to be teasing now seemed so genuine that it scared me. My eyes drew to his presence and my feet headed to him before I realized what I was doing. My heart kept beating faster when he laughed and completely stopped when he smiled at me.

I grew to treasure training with him in the forests and to hate being in the towns. Training meant Odd Squad, our team I knew had no feelings for Prince. In the cities and towns, he enraptured every female and some males.

In battle, he seemed so perfect and indestructible. Watching him fight was amazing. Fighting with him was even better.

It got harder for me to act normal around him. I would blush whenever we slept next to each other or had to share the same room in an inn. I knew we had done it countless times before, and each time I hadn't cared. On the rare instances that he'd let me glomp him, my heart would flutter as I wrapped my arms around him.

I didn't know what was happening, but it was causing unrecognizable emotions to stir within me.

—

Lolidragon asked me what my real feelings for Prince were. I immediately told her it was all a pretense and explained how entertaining the elf's reactions were. And yet, it felt that didn't seem quite right anymore.

One by one, Odd Squad was leaving for the real world until Prince and I were the only ones left. The field around us became silent all of a sudden. I watched as Prince let a gentle expression settle on his face and waved goodbye to me. The normal Guiliastes would have shouted how much he loved and would miss Prince. I didn't do that. When the setting sun had cast a heavenly glow around him, I couldn't bring myself to say 'I love you'. Saying such a thing should be reserved for a person I could give all my love to.

It was only after I had logged off that I recognized my situation. Instead of getting ready for work, I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling.

"Shit. I have a crush on Prince."

—

This realization shook my little world.

I thought I was completely straight. I had never liked another person of the same gender before. And thinking of it now, I still don't like anyone that way besides Prince.

There are things I've noticed that would have passed my attention.

Prince cares a lot for others. He views comrades as friends and friends as family. Prince treats Meatbun like it's his daughter instead of a pet. He's willing to kill to save those close to him.

I will admit that Prince isn't perfect. He isn't indestructible either. I've seen him laugh and have seen him cry. I've seen him kill and have seen him be killed. There have been many mistakes and dumb questions made by him, but he's also made many smart and clever decisions.

I notice that when something bothers Prince, he pretends he's fine and then tries to slip away to practice alone. When Prince feels horrible, he loses his appetite. I don't like it when Prince gets worried or stressed. I'm willing to act ridiculous even though it means getting beat up so that he'll forget what was bothering him. The worth of pride and dignity are nothing when I know he's hurting inside.

Prince is still constantly on my mind but in a different way this time. I've spent less time thinking about who he is in real life and think more about the simple things that happen. Being with him is less like intoxication but more like rejuvenation. I would gladly watch the clouds with him to be by his side. Everything is better by his side.

My heart doesn't race when he laughs or smiles; there's more to it. When he gives a carefree laugh, I can't help but see that his eyes light up and his entire presence is relieved from whatever secret he carries. When he smiles at me, my mouth slips into a smile as well and everything else disappears. It's as if my mind understands that nothing matters as much as him and doesn't care about what's occurring around us.

Instead of glomping Prince as much as I do, I want to embrace him to show tender affection. I want to protect him from all the people that lust after him, even though I know he's more than capable of defending himself.

I want to tell him how much he means to me.

—

When Lolidragon re-asked me what my real feelings for Prince were, I did not respond with the same answer. My heart had skipped and I was certain my face was warmer than usual. Instead, I shot back a question on what exactly was her own relationship with Prince. It took a blind man to not see how Prince would have private conversations with Lolidragon. For some reason, I wanted to be the one to have Prince confide in, the one he trusted the most.

Lolidragon just gave me a smile that said she knew more about me than I did.

I'm unsure what made me say what I said. It's not like I had any right to know if Prince was in love with someone. What would my answer have been if I had told the truth? I shouldn't be feeling so defensive. Right?

—

When I saw Wicked carry a bloody Prince, I started to feel uneasy. The man's eyes held fury and his body screamed that he was protective. I wasn't sure why because didn't seem to care that much about Prince before today.

As Wicked and Prince stare at each other, the uneasiness that appeared intensified. Do they know each other in real life? Does...does Prince like Wicked? Frustration and anxiousness fill me at the idea of a relationship between the two.

My mind is in a state of utter chaos. The lid on my emotions isn't strong enough anymore. This new conversation with Lolidragon is destroying any self-control I have. I shout my confession in the end.

I've thought hard about what I said and came up with this conclusion. I don't care that Prince is a man. I don't care if he and I are in the same gender. I know what my feelings are. I completely accept them. I'm no longer simply infatuated; I haven't been in a long time.

I love Prince.

_I will always watch over him, support him in all his endeavors, accept all his flaws, and share all his pain. This I swear._


End file.
